...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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