Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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