OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
