marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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