Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
