i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
