how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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