How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
