And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
