Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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