is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
