I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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