Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
