i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
