I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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