i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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