Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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