im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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