I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
