I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
