well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
