You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
