Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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