I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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