i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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