it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
