We won't sleep together?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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