Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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