So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
birth control should be required to get into college
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize