When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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