Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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