fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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