I am puke
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
