That's when you crack a 10am beer
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
