Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
