remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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