spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
