we have officially lost it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
