hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
