is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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