Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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