if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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