My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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