Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
