Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
