just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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