Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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