y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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