Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
