Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I love you. Go after that dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
