I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My vagina is officially offended.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
