how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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