your room smells of hookers.
And success
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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