therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
