Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
