I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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