I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
