i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
