HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
