Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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