he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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