I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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