DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Terrible idea I love it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
