My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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