and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
