Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
